I recently posted on Twitter, “Today I will lead with what my heart knows is right, rather than with what my ego thinks should be.”. It’s a challenge I have faced for a very long time, and for most of that time, I was blissfully unaware that I even had a challenge.

One of the challenges I’m facing, now that I’m facing the original challenge of being relatively unaware, is to be aware humbly. It’s sadly rather easy for me to feel somewhat superior for being good (like a karmic version of being a good driver and feeling far superior to those who don’t yield, merge, stop or generally drive as they should….. Not that I have ever felt that way……)

One of the points of becoming conscious in the spiritual sense is to become more at one with the universe and all of it’s occupants. I recently completed a personality profile for an amazing program I’m involved in and one of the questions asked if I felt connected to all human beings, animals and nature.  Despite my complete love of animals and my physical and spiritual need to spend a great deal of my life outdoors; I had to answer No. Although I consider myself a people person, feeling connected to all humans is something with which I struggle. Given the choice of spending time with humans or animals, I would normally choose animals. Given the choice of being by myself or in a crowd, I’d normally choose solitude. That being said, I love my friends deeply and have the ability to strike up casual conversation with complete strangers in supermarket lines. I genuinely enjoy human interaction – but I still feel myself an island – and all too often, a somewhat superior island to much of the human flotsam and jetsam I see in our universal sea. For someone who has very little self-confidence, it amazes me how many times a day I manage to feel superior to my fellow human beings.

The earlier reference to drivers was not a random choice. I am constantly amazed by the ineptness, dangerous practices and general rudeness of other drivers. Before my personal campaign to become more spiritually evolved, life was more simple – I simply engaged in road rage. I would rant and rage, simmer and swear; all of this vitriol directed at the offending driver, yet affecting only me.

My new approach to such drivers is to try to understand that they may be coming from a more difficult place than I and bless them on their way (admittedly, this usually comes after a dose of annoyance – this is a work in progress).

The challenge with all of this is that as I bless them on their way, I do so with a feeling of moral and tactical superiority, and I drive off extra vigilant to the traffic code. The point of my spiritual evolution is become more connected with the universe, not to use my growth as an excuse to see myself rise on my own. This doesn’t mean I will choose to “sink” to the level of human behavior which so frustrates me – quite the opposite. My goal is to continue to rise in consciousness in such a way that it will also help elevate the awareness and growth of others. What I need to constantly remind myself is that connection (and indeed leadership) must come from a place of humility. I can best help others when I shed my feelings of superiority and realize that we are all divine beings…. Even the guy that nearly hit me by running the stop sign in the Wal Mart parking lot last night.